Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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