I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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