I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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