yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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