Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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