My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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