i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm sobbing to NWA
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