She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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