i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
What a dumb baby whore.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
