you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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