Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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