so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
