My room smells like vodka and shame
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
