pop tarts are not kleenex
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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