Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
