Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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