how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
