her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Someone came in the potted fern
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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