that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
