I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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