This girl is more easily done than said...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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