If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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