i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize