Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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