it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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