glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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