Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
