I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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