could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So much rum. So many feels.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
