DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
