I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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