new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize