you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
