we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
