you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
