she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
