clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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