There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
