His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So vagazzling was a success
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
