I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
