Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
