The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
