she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
