I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you will always have a special place in my vag
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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