that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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