my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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