Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
