So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
