i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
