Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money

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(443): View more from Maryland

I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?

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(516): View more from New York

she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?

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(972): View more from Texas

Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

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(845): View more from New York

We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?

(1-845): View more from New York

Who won mens moguls?

(845): View more from New York

That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.

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(256): View more from Alabama

you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"

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(425): View more from Washington

Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.

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