i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
