help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
