Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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