I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize