..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
