Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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