You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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