Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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