did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
